for an apartment across the country

is incredibly stressful

lately i have been picking fights with my mother

because i am afraid to leave

because i am so happy right now

being here

will it ever be this good again?

Greeley, CO has a new resident come augustttttt

i’m gonna be a bear

prayers please.

Sometimes I feel like people are plotting against me.

i heard it rustlin’ round in my trash can

so i grabbed the trash can and ran it to the bath tub

which i thought was quite a good idea because it would be hard to escape from

it couldn’t climb up the sides

but i was not smart enough to take the trash can out of the tub

so it climbed up and leapt out right at me!

the mouse is currently hiding behind the toilet brush.

i’ve become a church cryer 

almost every service now 

today it was as soon as i walked in

seeing my entire family standing side by side in the pew for the first time in a year 

thinking it may be the last

overwhelmingly happy and sad

my dad was diagnosed 8 months ago with stage 4 lung cancer

he can’t sit through church because of the overwhelming pain

today was the first time he tried and had to leave before the sermon was finished

but i am so happy he tried

you know its nearing graduation when you get invitations to SPEE dating which stands for speech pathology (all girls) and electrical engineering (all boys).  but only for juniors and seniors… cause we’re starting to get desperate. 

oh calvin…

okay so i know that no one likes it when people talk about their dreams

they are usually stupid and boring to anyone not having the dream or in some way a part of the dream

buttt  

i had this really crazy one

in it, animals kept trying to be things they weren’t and then they would die.

like some sparrows tied corks to their feet so they could float on water like ducks but sunk to the bottom instead

but when i woke up i wasnt scared or alarmed, it was more of a hmmm feeling

and now i keep thinking about it 

like what if i made the wrong decision and im trying to be something that i shouldnt be

what if when im done with college i will be miserable because i chose the wrong thing because sparrows arent ducks and im not a speech pathologist?

we are so young and trying to make these big decisions that will change our lives but we have no idea what we will be like or want in ten years 

this year has been so twisty and full of life lessons, i keep changing my mind about things because i keep changing as a person

but all of this is moot if i give it to God and stop worrying

so thats what im gonna pray for.

so i just put my headband over my eyes

thinking they were my glasses

kinda like Geordi La Forge

also http://www.sporcle.com/ is neat

i learned that my friends are smarter than i am while doing these

someone stole my bike

my wonderful bike

to which no other bike could compare

i was riding it last night thinking that nothing could be more perfect than this summer night, empty streets just me and my great bike.

and then it got stolen

now i am on the phone with the police to file a report

i have been on hold for 20 minutes so far and have yet to talk to a real person

i am upset